I have been in many discussions where some parties believe they have been shortchanged due to some sexual issues he/she may be facing after marriage. Sexual issues such as low libido, pre-mature ejaculation, inability to penetrate during the early days and the list goes on and on. Mostly, these individuals chose to abstain from sex before marriage.
In many of these discussions I ask the following:
- Did the man and woman go through a thorough medical examination before they got married?
- Did both parties tell each other the total truth about their health status before they got married?
For example, if a man is impotent …he knows …or? If a woman knows she has a health condition that prevents her from having children …she knows…if a woman knows she is not interested in sex and is not looking forward to it…she knows. Therefore, in the above examples; the issue will not be about having sex before marriage for one to test the waters…it is a matter of Honesty; that is, if these questions were asked before marriage.
To buttress the above points, we stay out of premarital sex because of the Fear of God;
however that does not prevent us from asking the right questions during courtship and undergoing the necessary health checks before marriage.
If one had indeed done needful before marrying and still experiences these …I do not believe they have been short changed. There are ways these issues and more can be addressed if they both agree to get help from a licensed Christian sex therapist/ counselor.
If during counselling, and the counselor observes that the issue is medical; he/she will refer the couple to the right health personnel.
There are some sexual issues that we will need to live with for the rest of our lives . For example, not having our own children; however by God’s grace we can be counseled to live victoriously too. SEX was created for our pleasure; Enjoy it but let us do it right!