I have had this movie for over a month but I have been pretty lazy with movies for the past years such that I had not watched it. Though i had heard a lot about it. Recently, one of my friends brought it up and I decided it was about time I did needful. And my, Tyler Perry did not disappoint. As I sat through the movie I had a mixed bag of emotions. This story line happens a lot in our lives in varying forms and the following are the lessons I picked up:
- Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship. It’s HARDWORK!
- During courtship and you have a lingering doubt on something you not comfortable about …please discuss it and know the way forward. If there is no improvement and you know down within that if it doesn’t change years after you are both married and it will worry you; then you need to break up now.
- In marriage, there is nothing like pursuing individual dreams…your individual dreams must be discussed at each point in time and you the two must have one sense of direction. There must be unity even in individual aspirations.
- We need to be RESPONSIBLE for every decision we make. When the lady got to know that her ex-husband is now rich, she came to blame her sisters. When they told her not to marry him earlier, she still went ahead…even at that point she made her own decision. Meaning she was capable in choosing who she wants and so she blaming her sisters was pointless.
- This lady didn’t just have an anger issue…she had a severe psychological disorder when she becomes angry. She needed to have seen a therapist to help her manage it, after her first manifestation. Everyone glossed over it and just thought she had a bad temper. The lesson there is we need to pay attention to certain clues people around us may drop and we need help them to address it by seeking professional help where necessary.
- Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! And do it effectively …this lady kept everything inside and at a point …it exploded. Ask questions and observe objectively…Answers to these questions and your observations could reveal a lot about the person you are with. For me, I believe that Time Always Tells. It always does!
- I believe there is more to life than achieving dreams…you don’t focus on yourself only & ignore everything and everyone else and when you finally realize your “dream” …then you become nice. Time won’t wait for you and before you realize; you would have lost the essential relationships God has brought into your life.
- We need to ensure we marry right. This is because even though the intimacy in marriage is between you two, any hardship arising from the Union is borne by the family too.
- The God -factor: this was missing in their individual lives & definitely in the marriage. God created this whole marriage institution and if we decide to handle it our way…we will definitely have issues. Another thing too is that because they themselves have not yielded themselves to God…the Holy Spirit was unable to work on their weaknesses. Eg. With the Holy Spirit & the help of a professional…the lady’s anger bursts could have been worked on. The gentleman’s self seeking behaviour would also be worked on. God works on us to give us Holy Spirit filled temperaments.
- There is a reason why the Bible tells not to put our trust in man/woman…Our only Trust should be in the Lord. No man/woman can ever be everything we want them to be. No one can take the place of God and our spouses are no exception. They will disappoint/ hurt/ make us cry etc in one way or the other…and so our unending trust should be in God.
So I end with the Amplified version of this Bible text: Little children (believers, dear ones), let us not love [merely in theory] with word or with tongue [giving lip service to compassion], but in action and in truth [in practice and in sincerity, because practical acts of love are more than words].