A friend recently sent me her pre-wedding photos ; when I read the details, it is about six weeks to the said date and I was very elated. I was elated because she had given me sometime to schedule her event on my calendar if possible.
In this day and age where most people plan their calendars months in advance; I believe it is graceless to invite a guest to our wedding two or less weeks/ days to time. That will only be acceptable if we may have mentioned it earlier and for some circumstances beyond our control; we are now sending the official invitation.
I have had divergent views on this topic with some friends-brides😅 and they provide the following reasons:
- Saying it early brings out a lot of “unwanted” eyes
- They want to spring a surprise
- What if the date changes?
These are all understandable; but why don’t we also try to look at things from the prospective guest’s perspective? I believe that, every guest ( irrespective of the degree of value you may attach to him/her) wants to feel important and they are right in feeling so; because they are offering you their precious TIME; time they can never have back and that in itself is a present .Personally, I need the dates early enough so I can plan ( whether you are close or not) and I feel very appreciated when I am informed on time; at least a month to time.
In fact, for me that’s one major purpose of the pre-wedding / Save the dates photos. In my view, they are to be circulated at least two weeks before the official invitations so people are prompted that there is an impending event so they can plan accordingly. In the ideal case , I believe the official invitations should go out a month to time; some may prefer to circulate them when the banns are first announced. That is about three weeks ( 21 days ) to time, so we can make do. However, if we plan to do the pre-wedding shots then these should have gone out at least two weeks before the official invitations . So at least, we give our guests about 5/6 weeks to book our event in their schedule.
If for some unforeseen circumstances the invitations go out late and some people complain , please do not be defensive. Please do not think they are being petty and do not retort and tell them “ This is the time we planned to send it.” I suggest we empathise and rather say something like “ I’m really sorry this is coming late; however if your schedule will permit, I will be glad to see you.”
Wedding guests are not doing us a favour by coming to our ceremonies ; they are coming because they care and will like to share in our special day…though I know others come with malicious intents; please treat us all with love; pamper us small😄.